Six Fills a Minivan
by JustTruly
Summary: It's a great day at the Bushwick loft, until Santana discovers Brittany's "Lopez Pierce Baby Plan". Rachel and Kurt couldn't be more amused.


Author's Note: This one shot will eventually become part of a multi chapter piece. I thought it was cute and self contained enough to stand on its own as a one shot, to "get my feet wet" as a first time publisher. Please be kind!

In case you want to know for reference, in my head canon, Brittany remained at MIT for two years. She and Santana got back together in the summer of 2015, so they have been dating again for 9 months. They would both be 22 years old. This will all be fic'd in earlier chapters of my muti chapter.

This one shot takes place in spring of 2016.

Big thank you to WorldofTilt for acting as my Beta and Uvaack for the story approval! :)

* * *

Bright, morning sunshine filters through the patchwork of window panes of the Bushwick loft's large kitchen window, painting patterns of white, yellow and pink on everyone and everything.

Kurt and Rachel sit at the kitchen table, Kurt reading the fashion section from the New York Times, still donning a pair of burgundy silk pajamas. Rachel reads the latest copy of Playbill, wrapped up in a fluffy pink robe. Both sip on steaming mugs of coffee.

Santana pours two cups of coffee at the counter, with a contented smile on her face. She is dressed in her casual clothes; well worn jeans and a purple, short-sleeved mock turtleneck, with a peek-a-boo cut out at her cleavage ('the girls' need to breath after all). Her contented smile can be directly linked to yet another satisfying round of morning sex. The mock turtle neck can be directly linked to a need to camouflage the fresh love bite on her neck.

Santana has never been mistaken for a morning person; 'morning bitch' would be more accurate. However, her new routine has changed things for the better. Afternoon shifts at the Spotlight Diner and evening shifts at The White Pearl, means that Santana gets to spend the mornings in bed with her favorite blonde. Santana is pretty sure that she is now morning's biggest fan.

Santana adds milk and sugar to one of the coffees, leaving her own black.

"Britt Britt, coffee's up!"

Brittany peaks her head out the bathroom door. She is working a comb through her long, wet, golden locks. She is dressed in heart print pajama pants and a white tank top.

"Thanks, San. Just be a few more minutes."

"Ok, Babe. Don't forget we said we'd be at Julie's by 11am to look at the apartment."

" I just have to dry my hair and get dressed."

Brittany disappears back inside the bathroom. Santana brings both mugs to the table with her and sits down across from Kurt.

"Where's Loverboy this morning?" she directs her question to Kurt.

" _Blaine_ had a morning study group. He should be back soon," Kurt answers.

" Oh, are you two still heading down to Trenton to see Blaine's new nephew?" Rachel asks.

" As soon as Blaine gets back, and changed, we are hopping the train to New Jersey."

Brittany leans on the bathroom doorframe and interjects.

" Awww, I love babies. Text us a picture when you get there. "

Brittany walks over and stands behind Santana, leans down, and kisses the top of Santana's head.

" I can't wait until we have babies. It's going to be so much fun," Brittany sighs.

She picks up her mug and happily sips at her coffee.

" Hold up there B, don't get ahead of yourself. We need about 10 more years under our belts before we're ready for kids," Santana cautions.

" What?! No, Sweetheart, we're going to need to start sooner than that. We need to space out the births or adoptions so each baby gets lots of love," Brittany replies.

Rachel can't resist taking the bait the conversation has provided.

" Look at you two, talking about babies. How many kids do you two want to have?"

Kurt lowers his paper and looks back and forth between Santana and Brittany, more curious than he expected to hear the answer.

" I don't know - one or two?" Santana offers. She looks to Brittany then takes a sip of her coffee.

Britt furrows her brow.

" San, no, we can't just have one or two. Big families are way more fun. All three of you are only children. Didn't you wish you had siblings growing up? Kurt, you were so happy to have Finn for a brother. San, you loved coming over to my house when we were younger, so you could be part of all the craziness."

Santana's not really sure how to respond, so she sips her coffee. Rachel interjects instead.

" Well, there are definitely perks to being the apple of my fathers' eyes, but Brittany does have a point, Santana. Sometimes being an only child is lonely. That's why all of you are so special to me. My New York family."

Rachel smiles fondly at all of them. Kurt smiles back at her, Santana pats Rachel's hand in an uncommon gesture of affection and Britt responds with an 'Aw, that's sweet, Rachel'.

Kurt turns his attention back to Brittany and Santana, his curiosity peaked. He can tell the conversation is making Santana anxious by the way she squirms in her seat.

" So Britt, how many kids are we talking about here?"

Without a moment's hesitation Britt replies with a resounding "six!".

Santana chokes on her coffee. Brittany pats her back until she finally stops coughing and can breathe again.

" Baby, we cannot have six kids! Kids are expensive, and that is a lot of diapers, and we would need a huge house to put them all in, and we would end up never having sex again," Santana exclaims.

" Oh, Sweetie, don't worry. I have it all planned out. We'll have lots of money once you're famous, Target sells lots of diapers in every size, we can buy a big house with all the money you make and I'm pretty sure nothing will stop you and I from having sex. It's kind of our thing."

Brittany leans down and delivers another soft kiss, this time to Santana's temple. Santana stares at Brittany. Her brain is trying to override the panic that has set in and compute everything Britt has just said. All she is able to manage is the wide eyed, mouth hanging open stare. Rachel and Kurt sit back in their seats and sip their respective coffees. This show is getting good.

Kurt decides to continue as the devil's advocate.

" Well, I have to agree with Brittany on that point; sex, apparently, really is your thing. In fact, I'm surprised one of you haven't managed to get pregnant just by the sheer volume of effort."

Santana shoots Kurt one of her infamous death stares.

" Shut it, Lady Hummel. You and Loverboy are well versed on the subject too."

" No really, have you two had your hormones tested, because multiple times a day, every day, is a bit much," Kurt reasons.

" We are making up for lost time. Besides, you're exaggerating," Santana replies.

" I have to disagree, Santana. Even with these extra thick walls, it's not difficult for everyone in this loft to discern your sexual habits," Rachel interjects.

Santana squirms in her seat and shoots them both a dirty look. Kurt can't resist further pushing her buttons.

" Exactly. Every single morning - and multiple times I would add. You two are either getting it on or Brittany's practicing some rather exuberant Christian prayer chants (_Oh, Jesus! Oh, God! Yes!_) and Santana, you're apparently worshiping at the church of Brittany (_Oh, Brittany! Oh, Britt Britt! Yes, Baby, yes!_).

Santana smirks, despite her slight embarrassment.

" Okay, either way, that last part is accurate," she says with an unapologetic shrug.

" Guys, stop talking about sex. You know it makes Santana embarrassed," Brittany warns.

Kurt figures he has crucified Santana enough for now. Her turns his attention back to Brittany.

" So, why six, Britt?"

Brittany's face lights up as the conversation returns to the baby topic once more.

" It has to be six, because that's the most we can fit into a minivan."

All eyes are glued to Brittany, confusion written on all three of their faces. Britt sees their confusion and continues.

"Well, my mom and dad have five kids, because back then, that's all minivans could hold. But now, they are making minivans that hold six kids. As fun as it would be to have more than six, I don't think I could drive a passenger van. Also, six works out really well, because I can carry two babies, San can carry two babies and we can adopt two babies. It will be so equal!"

Rachel and Kurt are still somewhat confused by Brittany's explanation, but Santana grabs on to that last little nugget of information.

" Wait, Britt, Baby, we never said anything about me getting pregnant! This body was not intended for childbearing. Plus, I have to work to make all the money we're gonna need , you know, for...whatever."

Santana quickly tries to backpedal as she realizes she's already been sucked into Brittany's 'Lopez Pierce Baby Plan'.

" That's okay, Sweetie, I think you'll change your mind once we start our family. And, Sweetheart, you would look so incredibly beautiful pregnant," Britt replies. She leans down and kisses Santana's neck.

" And really sexy," Brittany adds.

Santana smirks and gently strokes Brittany's cheek with her thumb, despite the newest and alarming 'nugget' Brittany has just laid on her.

Rachel and Kurt share a knowing look. Kurt mouths "whipped" to Rachel. Rachel nods vigorously in agreement, biting back a smile.

"Of course, we'll be getting married first, so we won't start our family for a few more years yet," Brittany contemplates aloud.

Rachel's curiosity is peaked at the mention of marriage. She opens her mouth to ask Brittany to elaborate, but is stopped in her tracks by a kick to her shin under the table.

"Ouch! What was that for?!" Rachel demands, shooting Santana, the perpetrator, a dirty look.

"Oh, sorry! Was that your leg?" Santana says sweetly. Her eyes, however shoot Rachel a look that says 'don't even go there or I will make you wish you were never born'. Rachel quickly decides to drop the subject.

" Okay, I'm going to go get dressed. Be right back," Brittany announces. She slips into the bedroom.

Santana drops her head into her arms, on the table.

" I am so screwed," comes her muffled cry.

Rachel pats Santana's back.

" Santana, promise me that, no matter what happens or where life takes us, we will always remain friends?"

Santana raises her head and shoots Rachel a confused look. Rachel continues.

" Because I really need to see what Santana Lopez looks like as the mother of six children."

Rachel and Kurt both laugh in amusement. Santana throws a stack of napkins at Rachel.

" We are not having six kids! That is ridiculous! Have you met me?" Santana exclaims.

Kurt quirks an eyebrow at Santana.

" Oh, don't be so sure about that. I seem to recall a certain someone threatening my life in order to let Britt have her way on quite a few occasions. Now, let me see what was the phrase you used while you shot me death glares? Oh right, it was 'whatever Britt Britt wants, Britt Britt gets'. "

" It's true, Santana. You have never been able to say no to Brittany. I think you should start preparing yourself for motherhood by the half dozen. And I, will start looking for great sales on designer baby clothes, because Auntie Rachel will need to have an excellent supply of the best gifts," Rachel adds with a grin.

" Ha ha. Shut it, Berry, or you're on your own in the kitchen tonight," Santana threatens.

" Oh no, Kurt! Will you and Blaine be back in time for dinner?! Everyone is arriving at 7," Rachel questions.

" We'll do our best. What's on the menu, Ladies?" Kurt asks.

Santana is thankful for the change of topic. She sits back up in her chair.

" I will be preparing seafood paella for the carnivores and artichoke and eggplant paella for the vegan (_she nods her head at Rachel_), with help from my lovely assistant, Brittany."

Rachel chimes in, " And I will be making a melon salad for our starter and a vegan caramel flan for dessert. I'm also picking up our favorite cupcakes from Sweet & Shiny. Which reminds me, what are your flavour requests?"

" Oh my god! They are the best cupcakes I have ever eaten. I need a Devil's Food or I'll take a Malted Milk as my second choice," Santana weighs in.

" I'll go with Key Lime or Peach Cobbler. Blaine will want Maple Bacon or Salted Carmel," Kurt adds.

" Oh, good ones! Maybe I should change my order," Santana ponders.

Brittany emerges from the bedroom dressed in her street clothes. She's trying to tie a pretty scarf around her neck so that it lays flat. Santana stands up to help her with the scarf.

" Brittany, what's your favorite flavour?" Rachel asks.

Brittany pauses and realizes she has come into the middle of a conversation and has no idea what is being discussed. She smirks and says the first thing that comes to mind.

" Santana!"

Santana returns Brittany's smirk with a wink, and smirk of her own. Rachel and Kurt roll their eyes.

" Brittany, cupcake flavour! What is your favorite cupcake flavour?" Rachel admonishes.

Brittany's gaze travels down Santana's chest, down her flat stomach and stops between Santana's thighs. Her devilish grin grows wider.

" Still Santana," she replies in a cheeky sing songs voice.

Santana gasps, but her smirk returns before a beat. Her cheeks pink ever so slightly.

"Oh my god, Brittany!" Santana breathes.

Rachel and Kurt roll their eyes yet again, knowing full well what kind of 'cupcake' Brittany has in mind.

" Okay then. _You_ will just have to take whatever you get," Rachel states after clearing her voice.

Brittany grins at Rachel and wiggles her eyebrows_._

"Sounds good to me." With that, she squeezes Santana's ass, for further effect.

Santana slaps Brittany's hand playfully.

" Baby, are we ready?" Santana laughs.

" I think so. I'm so excited to see this apartment! I just have this really good feeling that it is going to be perfect for us. And it even has a spare room for Quinn or Mercedes or Sugar, when they come into the city!" Brittany says happily. "And they allow pets! Lord Tubbington really wants to move to the big city. He doesn't stop talking about it."

Brittany pulls Santana into her arms and plants a soft kiss on Santana's plump lips. Santana returns the kiss and deepens it. Before long, lips are parting and tongues are begging entrance. Santana hums into Brittany's mouth as Brittany's tongue slowly strokes her own. Brittany runs her fingers through Santana's long, dark locks, notching up the sexy factor for both of them.

" Hey you two, don't make me throw cold water on you," Kurt pans.

Brittany and Santana pull apart with a smack of their lips. Brittany whimpers and makes a sad puppy face at Santana, missing her sweet lady kisses in an instant.

" Come on you, we need to get going," Santana coos to her. She plants one last soft kiss on Brittany's mouth.

Brittany grabs Santana's hand and they head for the loft door. Before leaving, Santana turns to the pair still seated at the kitchen table.

" Rachel, just get Britt Britt any cupcake that has whipped cream with a cherry on top. She thinks they look like boobs, which makes her really happy."

" Oh, yay! That's right! But I'll need you to get me two, because boobs come in pairs," Brittany adds.

Brittany wriggles her eyebrows at Rachel once again as Santana laughs and pulls her out the loft door, grabbing their bags and jackets in the process. As the door slides closed, Kurt turns to Rachel.

" I'm not even going to dignify that with an eye roll this time."

Rachel nods her head in agreement.

" They are completely incorrigible!" she states dramatically.

" Quinn is going to kick herself for missing that little gem of a conversation. Santana with six kids. That'll be a comedy of errors," Kurt chuckles and turns back to his fashion section.

" I wonder if they'll like the apartment? I guess it will be good to not be so crowded in here. Five people sharing a single bathroom has been a challenge, to say the least," Rachel notes.

" And we'll be able to sleep in on our days off, instead of being awakened by loud, lesbian sex," Kurt adds.

" Well that's true," Rachel agrees.

Rachel and Kurt sit in silence for a few moments, thumbing through their reading material once again. Rachel finally breaks the silence.

" Actually, I think I'll really miss them when they move out. I mean, Santana can be quite a drama queen and Brittany is exceptionally quirky, but, well, we have some really good times together, the five of us."

Kurt sighs.

" Yeah, Rach, I'm going to miss them too."


End file.
